Navigating Identity Shifts

Hey guys, we just had a really great conversation with my friend Julie Holly. Julie is a visionary entrepreneur who transitioned from public school teacher to homeschool mom to full time commercial real estate investor where I met her, to podcaster and founder of the Wish Fulfillment Framework. With over two decades empowering others to reach their potential, she now helps people align mindset, wealth, and purpose.

Julie's mission mission is simple yet bold, to help others fully step into their dreams and design lives they love. You are gonna love my girl, Julie Helt. To the power of your life podcast powered by GoBundance Women. I'm Mandy McAllister.

And I'm Kelly Resendez.

Today, we have one of my BFFs through multifamily real estate, Julie Holly. Julie, hi.

Oh, man. I'm so happy to be here. It's great to see both of you amazing women.

Right back at you, homegirl. We're excited to have you and and talk about all of the things that you have going. But before we get there, why don't we start from the beginning? Tell us a little bit in your own words about your journey.

My journey's been pretty, pretty rad is how I describe it. And I think that a lot of the listeners will relate. A lot of us don't just, we're not born in, in the zone that we are currently inhabiting and we've, we have evolved into that.

And so I am third generation in real estate. However, I have a lot of paths in in the making. So I have a background in public school education and, real estate sales before going into commercial real estate investing. And then, of course, I have personal development in there, and the teacher in someone never dies, and a teacher is a leader. A leader is a coach. And so I've had this beautiful, it's it's almost like a kaleidoscope. And so I would say, that's been an interesting path.

Right? It's like, how do you allow yourself permission to continue to transition in life versus getting stuck in the comfort of any of those zones. Because I could have easily been stuck in the teacher zone where I'm like, okay, great. I got a great, you know, retirement pension thing that's gonna happen. I could have gotten stuck there, but that wasn't evolving into my greater purpose in life. I could have gotten stuck in real estate sales. Great. That's, you know, great. It's transactional, lots of money.

So there are any points where we can get stuck and really the beauty of life is when we give ourselves that permission to say, but I feel drawn to what's next And and how do I do that? And I know that that the two of you have really exemplified that as well.

I I love it. And the permission to be who you are and the willingness to do the deep thinking and the deep work that it takes to figure out what the crap that actually is. You know, you have evolved you know, you've lived, like, three different lives in your twenty five years on the planet. You know?

But, a thing that we see a lot at GoBundance Women, there's a lot of people that come from a w two that want to go into entrepreneurship or, you know, a doctor that wants to go do short term rentals or or whatever that is. There's a big identity shift that happens there.

So you having been through all of this and coaching all of the people you do that are high performers that that change what they do with their lives, walk me through the patterns or the cheat code,

actionable stuff around the identity shift that's required in those big changes. I expect about this in so many different ways, Mandy. It's interesting. I was just did a keynote at a big real estate event on this because even within niches, we can take this and niche it down further because that identity element is the root level. And a lot of times, we wanna put we wanna stack hacks, habits, strategies, productivity tools, and they feel really good because we see action, but we end up so let's say I'm a professional, you know, and we have a W2, I'm well established in my career. I could be stacking all these hacks, habits, strategies, and these ideologies on top of myself. And it's just weighing me down instead of freeing me and liberating me into stepping into who I'm created to be.

And so the first thing that we all need to do is we need to become aware, like just simply raise our level of awareness and say, okay, what am I noticing about myself? What's what's working for me? What's not working for me? What feels aligned? What doesn't? What is a dissonance that I am feeling? Because a lot of times what I have noticed is that, this is spoiler, not everyone needs to leave their W-two to live their best life. And that's a message that not everyone wants to hear, but in my coaching practice, I've noticed some clients that have wanted to leave because they thought something was on the other side. And as we raise their level of awareness, they realize, wait, I'm on autopilot. I'm making really good money. I actually like what I do. I can actually do all these other things in this other way. And they they've been able to pivot in different ways. And so when we raise our level of awareness, we're able to actually see what it is that's really happening, and then we can move into the next step.

And that next step is simply now we want to say, what do I need to release? I'm now aware of these things, but what do I need to let go? Like this no longer serves me. I need to release it. We as women, some of us are really great about doing this with our wardrobe. We get rid of that pair of shoes that we feel married to. We get rid of the sweater that we've had for the last twenty years, because you were good to me, you no longer serve me, have a have a great life, right? And so, we need to do that with other elements of our life. We need to step in and say, is this job, is this position serving me well? Is my role within my organization, is that serving me well? Is my workout routine serving me well? Is my nutrition plan? Everything gets to be up for grabs. Right? And so we can say, what is serving me well? And if, if it's not serving me well, it's okay for me to release it. Permission granted. Once we've Looks like yeah. Let me let me call her. I'm so excited.

I I love it's just Marie Kondo ing your your identity. I love it. Yeah. Kelly, all your Yes.

Yeah. So I think what I noticed a lot of people do, though, is they they feel this knock like they're made for more or they want to they wanna elevate, but then they talk themselves out of it. Like, you should be grateful. You've got a great job. You've got a great family. You've got all these things.

So what do you think are the top ways that we sabotage ourselves when we do feel that pull and that we don't end up taking action?

Okay. So, Kelly, I just wanna cry so much because we have conditioned ourselves. I used to refer to myself as a high performer. I now longer I no longer do that. I am a high capacity human. I use high performance strategies at times to to do what I need to do, but that's not who I am. That's not my identity. I have dismantled that, and now it's a tool that I use.

And a lot of a lot of the listeners, a lot of women in the GoBendons ecosystem are high performers. And we were taught, I was taught, these are the traits of high performers. This is how you show up and you have your, your morning routine. You have your great habits. You have your, I mean, you just have down to tracking your sleep. Right? And there's nothing wrong with any of these things, but everything in our life is documented. Everything is, has like some type of KPI, some type of, outcome attached to it. And so are we really living?

And when we think about burnout or when we think about gratitude, I think of gratitude as a form of burnout for a lot of high performers. That's controversial, but so often we are forcing the gratitude. We are saying I have to be grateful for this. Like, who am I to not be grateful for this? I wanted this, I built this, this is a beautiful thing. So why am I feeling restless? Why am I feeling resentful? These are the very things I wanted.

And so when we're in transition of oftentimes I find clients where they are self sabotaging because they are shoulding all over themselves. They believe I should feel grateful. Well, can I feel grateful? And can I want more at the same time? Of course I can. And can I honor the version of me that allowed me to iterate into the position that I am now into this life, into this version of me? I can honor her and I can honor who I am becoming.

And so that's one of the most important transitions that that we need to shift. Right? One of the most important recalibrations in our mindset is just shifting. I can have both and. I honor who I was. She was amazing. I mean, we all have stories in our past that got us to where we are. And so we can, we honor that version. You were scrappy. You had to do some things and you walked, you, Mandy, you literally walked to the coals, you know, like. Right. Right. You did a Tony Robbins walk on the coals, right? Yeah. It's a walker. You literally You're a firewalker too. Cool, mom. I didn't. Okay. Sorry, Kelly. Like you guys have literally walked the fire and I've figuratively walked the fire. I love that version. And I'm grateful because now she can go into the future in a different capacity.

Mhmm. So every version of myself has done the very best she could up until now. And if I'm feeling restless, I'm allowed to change the thing that I want. I might have grown out of that version of myself.

That that is beautifully put, Julie. I wanna know you know, you work with all of these high capacity individuals and people who are in identity changes. When you feel stuck or all of these these data points that you have of the the people that you get to help, how do you get unstuck?

What that feeling of I don't know what to do next. I know that this made for more whatever is something bigger, but I can't put my finger on the next right step. What do you do or what do you coach someone to do?

I I now walk everyone through the recalibration process. It's just five simple steps, starting with raising awareness. So start with one, raise awareness. Two, we're going to release whatever is no longer serving us. Three, we are now going to reclaim the truth of who we are. Then we're going to step into just reinforcing this, you know, like, Hey, I'm going to just do this repeatedly because that earns trust with my nervous system and that earns trust with my entire, I would regulate myself through that reinforcement and that leads to renewed momentum.

And this happens like in a fraction of a second sometimes, like we can simply recalibrate. It doesn't take long to raise awareness and say like, what's going on, you know, in this relational situation right now in front of me. Okay. Let me just run through the little cycle. Okay, cool. Got it. And I can simply recalibrate in the moment.

And then sometimes there are heavier things that are taking place in our lives where we need to just park on it. And we need to say like, okay, this has taken me longer to get the level of awareness that I need. But once you we have that, we can continue forward. It makes a powerful difference.

Yeah. For sure. I'm gonna ask you a pretty deep question because I know you're pretty deep. So, you know, talk to me a little bit about what you would say the difference between mindset and embodiment is and how you know, as everyone's on this journey, it does take that work. Right? The the mindset work, the self awareness, other things.

But I think all of us would just like to be like, I just wish I'd wake up one day and not have to deal with these things anymore. Like, I I really would love not to expand that much energy on that. So tell me a little bit about how you see the difference and what that's looked like in your life.

I started out in the mindset space, and that is exactly where I began. And I use the word and the term mindset very sparingly now because mindset is simply our thinking about something. We all have thinking about things. That's literally what mindset is, is what we are thinking about it.

And what I have learned over my study and research over the last few years is our mind is really small. Our mind is very limited actually, and our body is massive. Our nervous system is everywhere and we are storing copious amounts of experiences and knowledge inside our nervous system all over our body. What informs the brain? Where we, we quintessentially believe mindset stems from? Well, our thinking is informed from our nervous system.

So when I think of embodiment, it's more of literally a full body experience. Like where am I feeling this? I feel things in my chest. Some people sometimes I'll actually feel things in my upper thigh, like, like my gosh, it's so weird. My IT band will flare up, like very specifically and I will put my hands on it. I'll say like, what are you trying to tell me? What information do you have for me? Because the only time you do this is if there's something I need to know. Right?

And so our whole nervous system is working for us. So when we think of embodiment, we're not just thinking about our thinking of something. We're thinking about the totality and complexity of how am I feeling this? How am I, how am I engaging this? And and what am I thinking about this?

So good. It's all patterns. You know? I I I think that many people that this seems a little advanced for, You know, the if I'm just now getting into mindset for the the people, the business owners, the entrepreneurs that are listening to this that that feel that they they know some things more and the idea of mindset, the thinking about the thinking they're there, and the not yet feeling into their bodies and and recording that information.

What's advice do you give to that person to get started in the embodiment stuff beyond the mindset stuff?

We can't trick ourselves. And I think that's one of the most foundational things to understand. And so there is a lot of information out there that says simply do these affirmations and, borrow the belief, you know, fake it till you make it. And none of those things are actually true. We're actually going against our body. And so our body, if we're trying to essentially, we're trying to override our nervous system and our nervous system is calling BS on all of it. And so we can trick it for a while and we can get kind of get the engine going, but if we really want to be in sync, we want to do the deeper work.

And so if we're at the very beginning, we're like, okay, I get mindset and I can, I can get behind these affirmations? Those are all good things. Not, I'm not disparaging anything at all, but those are tools we really want to get to the identity level to where we say, well, like, Who am I really? Where is this coming from? Why do I think I need to be at X level of success? Why do I want to have these things in my life? Like what is the bigger, the, the story beneath here that is driving these desires.

And when we get to the stories that are driving those desires, the, we really uncover the why behind the what. That's what we're doing. That's what is drawing us, but why is that drawing us And that right there, when you untap that you unpack and unleash life because now you're connected directly to the source.

And you're like, I know exactly what's driving me. I know why it's driving me and I know why it's aligned and nothing can come between me and where I'm headed because it is like a hose that is a fire hose that is on full capacity with no hindrances, no kinks. It's flowing nice and smooth.

Amazing. So speaking to the female leaders that are out there and business owners, like, what do you think it's gonna take for women to really step into their highest power? Like, what do you believe is is you know, if you had a magic wand, what do we what do we need to do, and what would the impact be?

It's not us against anything else other than us against ourselves. Mhmm. And so, oftentimes, women in high positions of leadership or women who are striving to achieve more in life, a lot of times there is a deeper story there and that creates dissonance. And so let's resolve the dissonance.

And, although I'm happy, we are all very happily celebrating very recently, fifty years of women being able to have mortgages, like we're happily celebrating, our, our female founders and, you know, the women who came before, you know, before us and such, and, and let's continue to honor that, to understand and stay connected.

We having a position of, maybe less adversarial and ensuring that we're not taking a victim type mindset in a us against them of whatever entity it might be and say, what do I want? And who do I want to be in this world? And what change do I want bring to the table? What advancement do I want to bring?

We'll always face obstacles, but those obstacles are not necessarily personal. We will all have challenges that we face and that's the test. That's the resistance that that really trial by fire to say your message and everything is worth it. Like you are pushing through and persevering.

And so I think that's one of the most important things for a lot of females to understand is oftentimes what can feel deeply personal is simply resistance testing our will, testing our determination.

Mhmm. And

we're all in this together. You know, the the collaboration gets you so much further than competition. You know?

To that, though, you know, we both as commercial real estate investors, 1.5% of all commercial real estate investors are female. 1.7% of all venture capital funds go to women.

I remember when we were growing up in multifamily together, how we we had many conversations about second guessing ourselves. You know, talk to the women who aren't making their ask. Where are they? What do they need to do to you know, how do we get more women in real estate investing and and venture capital funds?

We go for it. We go for it. You I was I was, welcome to the table in the commercial real estate space, but I also allowed myself permission to go to the table. I didn't see it as a, I sit, you stand type situation. It was, you know what? We're all humans. We're coming to the table. We have shared values and we have a shared goal. Let's go.

And so a lot of times recalibrating that position, and unfortunately, oftentimes, we have some negative life experiences, with our male counterparts in life. And so really getting down to the story beneath that and saying, is there a story here that is inhibiting me from being able to collaborate in a really powerful way? Is there, something that I'm carrying from my past that I need to release that's actually preventing me from moving forward?

I have some very traumatizing things in my past that I could have let prevent me, you know, from moving forward. You know, abuse is not a great thing to experience. And so I could have allowed that to hinder me. Instead, I allowed that to be something that was healed. And so really understanding, that relationship is important and then nothing should stop us from what we want.

And that goes back to that connection. When we're connected in a full embodied way, nothing is going to stop us. No human of any kind. And we have lots of different types of, you know, people who identify in so many different ways today. Okay. We're all at the table. Let's all come to the table.

And so women like step in, step up, step to the table because your voice is powerful and your voice is needed and we need to stop the comparison. I just have to put that out there. Okay. Like I was talking with my husband last night and I was having a little, I was processing, he's being a fantastic listener. I'm so grateful. And in that process, he's like, well, you're a badass. And I'm like, well, I don't really see myself that way. And he's like, well, I think you're, I think you are. And I think other people see you that way. Right.

And I realized, I said, oh my gosh, is this how my friends feel? Like, is this how Mandy and Kelly feel? Is this how, and it made me realize this community, this GoBendons women community is so critical because we have to be cheering each other on. We need to be sending those messages and not comparing ourselves and saying like, oh my gosh, Mandy just got, you know, another carwash, you know, oh my gosh, Kelly just no, she has wrote, you know, her twentieth book, you know, like instead of compare and I haven't even had my first one out yet.

Instead of doing the comparison, doing the I'm gonna send that person a text and just let them know, like, you've got the fire girl. And sharing each other on instead of playing the comparison game, instead of believing I'm behind. You're not behind. You're exactly where you need to be to be information of who you are created to be in this world.

I love that. So I'm gonna ask one more last question just because I know a lot of people out there are in a w two, and they're thinking about investing in real estate or starting a company. Like, one of the greatest challenges is, like, scarcity around time and money. Like, what would you tell them? Like, would it be a certain amount in reserves, a certain amount of time or energy that they should have to dedicate to creating an end while they're working on that? What advice would you give to that person?

Scarcity is just fear with dressed up branding. That's all it is. And so we need to call scarcity for what it is. It's fear. Okay. Let's not it's it's scarcity, but it's it's fear. And so there's no amount of money that in a bank account that is ever going to override your fear. You will never have, have enough.

And so let's look at the root issue. Let's look at the fear and where does that come from? What's the story behind the fear? Was there something in your childhood? You know, money mindset is a huge element.

And so anytime we're trying to start any new endeavor, if we want to open that business, if we want to tackle our next investment or our first investment, we will face the resistance. We will face that fear and we can tackle it head on and we can say, okay, I'm never going to have everything because that's part of the evolution of me. If this was easy, I would have already done it. This is hard, which means this represents I'm in my growth zone.

And when I'm in my growth zone, I can recognize that fear is going to show up. Resistance is going to show up in all of the friends to try to hinder. That's actually trying to protect you. That is your nervous system's like saying, Hey, Hey, let's just stay in our safety zone because this is safe. Your body is hardwired to protect you.

And so just recognizing some of these simple things and saying, it's okay. Hey, scarcity. I see you fear. I see you. It's okay. And reassuring yourself, recalibrate yourself. I'm okay. And I'm going to take the step, even though it feels scary, that I'm okay taking this step.

So when you're looking at what, what structures and systems do I need to have set up? Well, on the foundation of that, I need to have a way of, engaging all the feelings that are going to come up because you could be making your first $100,000 investment, or you could be making your $6.07 figure investment and the feelings are the same. It's just that some we develop different ways of, of being present with those feelings in the process.

Mhmm. And the more you learn, the more you can trust your own judgment to really put those feelings at bay. Man, Julie, just every time I talk to you, I feel like there there are real gems. My favorite, is your recalibration formula. Awareness, release, reclaim the truth, reinforce, and then you get renewed momentum.

I wrote that down. Kelly, what was your favorite part? Well, that was mine, Mandy. Jeez. Thanks a lot. No. There are so so many nuggets, and I think I think number one, you have never stopped working on yourself, which is really part of the equation to get to success. And so you embody, you know, the person that really is it's it's an inside out job, and the energy that you bring into the conversation and into the world selflessly is something that I just really admire.

So there are so many nuggets, but definitely seeing scarcity as fear, and just go for it. Come on. Ladies, if you're listening to the men, let's all work together and make the world a better place. So

Absolutely. One question we love to ask, all of our guests and members of GoBundance Women, and, actually, a big way I think that women can go further together is being prepared with their ask. So when it comes to something you are working on, what resource or what introduction changes the ballgame for you so that we can serve you?

Oh, wow. I'll I'll hold it. This is my big this is my big deal right now that I just came up with, and I'm actually running recalibration cohorts, but I am looking for some small businesses, you know, something that is six to 12 people to run through this, the recalibration process as a team.

So I've recalibrated in cohorts with individuals and I am I am feeling the pull. So this is me practicing what I preach. I have been feeling the pull of working with, business teams because I do coach people in the business sector.

And so it's a matter of, okay, I feel that pull, I'm going to create the offer. I'm going to start putting this out there and, it might be uncomfortable and that's okay that it's uncomfortable. So thanks for asking. It's like, uncomfortable. So thanks for asking. That's the first time I've ever said that.

Yay. I love it. So then how do people get ahold of you if they want to know more about this or anything else you've talked about?

Just shoot me an email, please, and thank you, at julie@therecalibration.life.

Beautiful. I if if anybody listening to this podcast needs Julie, make sure that you're reaching out. Make sure you're sharing this episode with someone who needs recalibration in their life or has some sort of an identity shift that they've got going. Like and subscribe this podcast, and don't forget to check out Power Up Your Life Now.

If you need any sort of resource to help power up your business or influence or publishing when you get to that book, Julie, we we got a guy for you or gal for you. So thank you for joining us on the Power Up Your Life podcast powered by GoBundance Women. We will see you next week.