Human Behavior Insights for Business Success

Wow. We just had an authentic and stimulating conversation, with Susan Ibeds, who's a former political influence consultant, profile, and civilian hostage negotiator with a master's in human behavior and deep expertise in behavioral economics and neuroscience. Known for her data driven insights, she's dubbed freaky and recognized as a top expert by the Chicago Tribune and Psychology Today for her ability to profile anyone in just thirty seconds during live shows.

As the author of Irrational Humans, people make 35,000 decisions a day and 95% are irrational. But why and how? Susan explores the fascinating science behind human decision making and what truly drives our behavior.

So excited to bring Susan on today. Welcome, everyone, to the Power Up Your Life podcast brought to you by GoBundance Women. I'm Kelly Resendez. And I'm Mandy McAllister. And we have got an amazing guest for you, my newer friend, Susan. So grateful that you're here. How are you today?

What trouble we're gonna get into and we're gonna get other ladies into? Thank God. I hope you're here because this is gonna be a ride.

I love it. Well, Susan, tell us a little bit about your story in a few minutes of of, you know, just who you are and what you do.

Well, I started as a political consultant. I get burned out after eighteen years because I miss the adrenaline. I become a civilian hostage negotiator. I become a coach interrogator. I've been trained by the military interrogator. And with all the action, I realized there's mon there's no money there, and I have expensive taste. So I went to corporate consulting, and now I own five companies. We are all women, all stay at home mom. And I love that because we have an institution. We try to bring men. I don't wanna be I know I don't wanna segregate anyone, but they cannot follow the step. Guys, you need to start moving. They cannot follow our step.

I love that. I love that. Well, tell us a little bit more about what being a human behavior hacker is all about. How do you how do you support women on this journey?

Everybody have a gift. And I think that for many, many years, women think that the gift was being a mother, being a wife, being a household. But actually, studies now lately showing that, for example, a woman is 87% better reading conflict, negotiating, and reading body language when a man is only 42%.

I don't wanna again, I don't wanna get genders aside, but women use 14 to 16% of the brain to analyze situation when the men use four to six part of the brain. That's telling us that natural women are really good analyzing situations. And the best situation women analyze is when nothing happened. Men tend to go to the eye when I fix the situation, and women's like, is anything to be fixed? So women are better.

Imagine if you have the confidence to know that naturally you are a reader, that naturally you're a good negotiator. You naturally know how to piece situation and read situation around you. You are the best compliment in any team. So women are natural on those things, the everyday life.

You're going to a place, you you your nose is telling you if it's gonna be problem. When he says, I don't, honey, I don't like that person. Why? You women are like, I something went about that person is gonna betrayed you. He come back two weeks later. Guess what happened with that person you met? He or she betrayed me. We have a gift.

So my job as a human behavior hacker is tell my story that I'm coming from a a brain drain that and anybody told me that I'm gonna get anything in my life to help other women to do it. I have dyslexia. I have Asperger. I was born and raised on Latin America. I'm Jewish divorced. I have all the numbers. I win the lottery in there. And I have speech impediment for my dyslexia. So I embrace my weirdness.

Ladies, tell me something, and for the audience too. Which was the reason that people went to see the first circus many centuries ago? Animals or people?

People.

People. Why? We stimulate dopamine and oxytocin. Weird things get our attention. So you see my persona. I have an avatar. I'm an almost 54 years old woman, proper to my age. But believe me, when I walk around, people is gonna remember me because I'm different. I'm mixed between Cruella the bill, Frankenstein bride, and the the devil wears Prada with my spiders, my tattoo, and I walk away. But you know what? People get attention. I open the verse. He says, you are different like hell I am, and I can help you to be the same way.

I think that you don't need to have a business card. You don't need to have a huge elevator speech. You are the best brand of yourself and what you can conquer. You walk with with grandiose. People think that I'm taller. I'm five seven, but I walk with an attitude try to touch me.

And I think we need to do that. Walk the room, and we have genetically wired to have those gift. I help you to untap those potentials. The miss maybe sometime we're told for many times you don't have, and actually are natural to you.

And under all of that, you're a behavioral economist and, hostage negotiator. You know, I let's apply this a little bit to entrepreneurship because, the bulk of our listeners are entrepreneurs.

What are some actionable things being a human behavior hacker that you see are the the primary things that entrepreneurs need to pay attention to that they could change or tweak to have better results in their in their work?

First, be careful with your friends. And I know I'm gonna have a kind of resistance in this. Be careful with a friend who love that you do well until you do better than they do. Be careful who you put your thoughts and your ideas. It's not because they have a bad juju against you. It's because they cannot deal that you do better than they do. Why? Because you put the work.

I don't believe in the world luck. Luck coming when you have been working really hard.

Another one, learn to fire clients, family, employees, and friends. I know it sound hard, but it's true. Learn the success is tend to be solitary place. And you know what? You need to understand. If people around you start getting mad because you have less time for them, maybe it's not the people you need to surround yourself.

Machiavello was actually the one the first one he says. Walk the room as you wanna be perceived and surround yourself with the people you're gonna be like you wanna be perceived with. Know how you are. Everybody have potential. So you need to understand a great idea was always belong to an underdog. Google wasn't Google. Facebook wasn't Facebook. Amazon wasn't Amazon, but was a great idea and an underdog. And those are rules that I learned from the people who really has made it.

It's sad that success tend to be solitary because people attribute that success, oh, how lucky, oh, you're attractive, oh, you're married well. Like, guess what? I'm single, and I'm successful. And I did it by myself. And I came twenty five years to this country with a carry on and a laptop in my backpack because it was too expensive to leave it.

So you need to work hard, and you need to understand. When people when you have ideas, don't share your ideas until they're not they're concise. Be careful who are your advisers. Be careful who you trust. Have a personal coach and a business coach. Not because maybe he's the best coach on the world, but you need to have someone that for at least one hour a week help you to resolve those problems that is not therapy, is not your partner, and is not your friend. It's someone you pay for to pay attention and help you to think.

I don't want you to think like me. I wanna help you to think what are your potentials. Make sense?

Oh my goodness. So great. And and, really, we do talk about the power of proximity a lot in GoBundance Women. A lot of us have tended to feel like we're too much, and so we do make ourselves smaller. And so being so intentional about that is spot on.

So I'm sure in creating all of the success that you have in multiple companies, there have been times in your life that you felt a little bit stuck. Like, how do you get yourself from stuck to unstuck in your life?

People yesterday, I was talking with a friend who was a one year anniversary that she lost her husband in a horrible way, a way to retire, 57 years old, says what I do and says, honey, you do one day at a time. Says, oh, it's easy for you and says, love, do you know how many mornings I wake up in a ball foot position? It says, I don't wanna be an adult because these people are suspecting me. Is it Susan is gonna fix it. Susan doesn't wanna fix anything. Susan cannot fix Susan today. Susan cannot put makeup, cannot get out of bed.

And you know what I do? I look on all the women that work in the company. They're single mom with stay at home mom and in places they're not gonna have the opportunities they have with the company. At the last company, I open it, and I make my two older employees equal owners of the fifth company. We're partners. So they stuck with me forever. And those are the things that get me on.

It says and you know what I do? I remember everybody who tell me no. I know everybody everybody have their Lamaze, teddy bear. Like, with the woman who have babies, you know, when you do the Lamaze exercise I don't have kids, but I've been the the partner of many single friends. You need to see that teddy bear. My teddy bear is everybody who says she's a loser, she's stupid, she cannot do it, then no. So every time that I feel no and says, if I stay in this position, they win, and I'm not a loser. So I need to get on.

And it look like it's easy to say. Do don't fake it until you make it. You know what you need to get done. You need to know the destination before you choose the journey. I knew my destination because I found out I'm dyslexic and as very early age and for my age was 17. Nothing was done. I was supposed to be knee neither a cashier. I knew I'm not gonna be swimming. I'm not gonna be taking a first class trip to my destination. I'm gonna be swimming with sharks. But guess what? Every wrong corner make you stronger.

So when you're in that fetal position in bed and says, I don't wanna be an adult, I cannot do with this, Get your Laplace person. Get your Laplace object. Get the anger. Sometimes anger is good. People think the anger in behavior is negative. Anger is good because make you move mountain if you know how to manage those emotion. Behavioral wise, anger can be good, but anger can be really bad.

Right. And entrepreneurship in general is just learning how to manage emotions. Your anxiety, your anger, all the things, and then use them all for good.

You know, I I'm curious as a behavioral econ economist, the neuroscience, microexpressions, all this stuff that you teach and you help people with. With with the rise of AI, I'm curious your thoughts on how that changes the ballgame for, people who are leaders, in microexpression and all of the above.

I used AI before AI existed. Why? Because my dyslexia, I need to dictate things. AI is not gonna take your job. AI is the job is gonna be taken. Your industry gonna be taken for somebody who knows how to use AI.

Let's put it this way. We now understand between complex and complicated. Complicated is our left brain. Complex is our right brain. Right brain is emotions, is space, is creativity. AI can resolve complicated problems. AI can resolve the complicated problems of the left brain. I can ask to make me, Excel sheet. I can ask to synthesize the studies, but I need to put a prompt to design a logo where my affection, my desire, and my outcome come into the AI.

We're using AI in the completely wrong way. Like when the tractors were invented, everybody think they're gonna be outside of work. When the phone was invented, when the electricity was invented, everybody said, Indians, they didn't want the picture taken because their soul is gonna be it's gone stolen. AI was too fast, too soon when we're getting out of the pandemic. But AI is the best thing that happened. AI saved me so many hours.

So remember, AI is not your enemy. You haven't not learned how to use it. Complicated left brain AI complex that is everyday life, feeding my cats, getting out of bed is right brain. And you need to feed properly the left brain AI in order to tell them what to do. You cannot use AI as a Google.

AI fixed my life. I don't use Alexa, but I start thinking because now she can fill my supermarket. Says, no more milk. Okay. Put it on the list. I didn't know that. I I learned that yesterday because I missed my leg. And my boyfriend says, get an Alexa. She gonna get you, DoorDash to take the list. I'm like, really? And says, Susan, how you can be so intelligent for certain things and so ignorant to others?

Like, I have technology resistant, but I live in AI. So don't fight. Become a become friends with the enemy in order to bring the enemy.

Oh my goodness. That is so great. Because I think so many people, you know, are driven by fear. And with AI, they've been afraid, like, of the job losses and whatever. But without humans really guiding it, there really is no there's no benefit.

So Do you know about the study that AI is making people stupid? Yes. It was a study Yeah. Two months ago that people who use AI for the paper so I'm in another master, and and this is in neuroscience and neuromarketing. And I remember it says well, the first class says, well, I love AI, but we need to understand and make us stupid. And for the youngest in this class, it says, do not rely in AI because five minutes later, you're gonna forgot what you did. Use AI to synthesize the studies you're gonna need to take, but go through.

So companies hire me, and I cannot I I almost feel ashamed to say this, to teach people how to write emails, how to pick up the phone because AI is great. Let's put it this way. AI is great to tell me who you are, what you says. But I want with you, the only AI that work is this one, the memory, the exercise, the life experience. The devil knows for being old and being the devil.

So, you can give me all the eye, all the sequence, all the emails, all the right but when you're in front of the client, when you are with a human, when you're a doctor, the bedside manners. Those things need to be human. And in a world that it goes so disconnected, get out of your headphones. Get your head out of the computer. In a world that is super connected, we have never been so disconnected.

You go out on the subway. I love to go on the subway. I love to go on the subway. Like, nobody look at themselves. I'm the only one looking people. Get your headphone out. Understand the AI is helping you to get faster, but you're never gonna go deeper if we don't do this.

I have meeting with you ladies, each of you, and we have a deep conversation. We talk about BS. We talk about relationship, divorce, hits, pain, gratefulness, and that's how we ended up on the podcast. We met through AI and connection in the LinkedIn, but we make the effort to make one on one. So don't forget that. Please don't forget you're human.

I love it. Human connection and the the intervening with people, that matters so much. I I think, you know, being stuck being in your head, being on the subway, things like that. To to add on to that, you know, talk to me about being stuck. When your entrepreneurs that you coach feel stuck or you feel stuck, yourself, what are some things that you do to get yourself unstuck?

First of all, I look on the past, what I have done before. Future behavior is analyzed for our past behavior. Second of all, I really fast assess what I cannot fix. That allow me to assess what are the tools that I need to fix it. It's talk sometime is I need a new assistant. Do I'm HR? No. HR probably know what I want with me, so I need to go to an agency to find me a new VA. I gonna use the the time? No. I need to assess what are my problems, what I cannot do, and what are the tools that I have to do it.

Usually, only thing that has stuck you is your stubbornness that says I can do it all. Do you know that the concept that the women are of that multitasking? No. Actually, we work three hours a day more than any other person. So I understand that should I be cut cutting the grass in my I live on the forest. No. For $50, I paid to a guy who is getting money to go to college.

We think that getting stuck is huge problems. The huge problem happened when I tried to cut the grass, clean my house, cook the dinner. No. I can't. So when somebody else cut the grass, do the cleaning, and do my lawn my laundry, and bring my groceries so I can cook for me and my partner, then I am stuck.

We need to get the concept that we don't need an engineer to change a blind ball. Mandy, system one is our part of the brain. System two, this is Homer Simpson, 95% of your decisions. System two is Albert Einstein. Do we need Einstein to change a light bulb? Neither Homer Simpson when I gonna pick up cats or dogs or or or shoes.

I have six cats and more than 800 pair of shoes. Do I need it? No. But I paid for it, and I love it, and I have only two feet. So get reality get a reality check.

People says, oh, they call me Darth Vader. You can see all the Darth Vader. It says, you're never gonna have a heart attack because you don't have one. Yeah. I do. I do what I do, and I do a lot of pro bono that I don't promote, and I help women that nobody else wanna help because I know you can't. You're just stuck and thinking that, oh, I'm a failure.

I'm a failure. Rosenthal did a huge study. In the seventies, they grabbed two groups of students. One, they were not good. Another one were Mensa Brilliant. The one that were Mensa Brilliant, they were told they're not good. And the one that are not good, they were told they're Mensa Brilliant. Guess who was the most productive, successful team at the end of the year? The one who weren't as good.

Because if you tell all the time, it the crazy studies and I'm still investigating, so bear with me. A researcher in Japan find out that when you froze water, there has been in a room with negative people have bubbles. You froze that water, and that ice break faster than water than didn't have any negative energy inside. I start thinking about manifestation and energy like, oh my god.

How many times you walk in a room and, like, oh, something smells bad, taste bad, and look bad. I need to walk away, walk away. So we need to understand if you convince yourself and you believe the voice of all the people in your life that tell you cannot do it, you're not gonna do it.

I have a I have a phrase for you. Between you and yourself are the only partner you're gonna have. You die alone, you're born alone, and you work alone because your worst enemy is yourself. So stop thinking you can. You says, how can I do it? When you cross, you go to a a cross and you cannot cross and says don't say I cannot do it. I says, how can I do it? What are the tools that I do have in life to get around? Well, maybe you need to leave the car and walk around. Duh. It was simple.

It's crazy how many people says, oh, Susan, I'm a stop. Like, okay. Let's let's let's do this Jack Jack the Jack the Reaper. Let's put pieces. So I have brains that I get in pieces and things that I have pieces and people are like, okay. This is your problem. Let's put the problem in pieces. Let's give each part of this puzzle a name. I'm like, oh, it's not a problem. I have the wrong order. Thank you.

Yeah. So you make $300 an hour, pay 50 to cut the grass. You didn't lose $50. You make 350. Yes. How you see things. And I I'm so happy about my crazy brain, dyslexic and Asperger because allow me to see things differently. And you just need someone in your life to help you to see things different, but never codependent on no one.

A great coach, a great mentor, ladies, you are the same way, is someone who give you the tools to know how to grow and grow with you. So when you go to the next step, the same coach, the same group, the same mastermind, the same group of women are keep growing with you. So you gotta stop. Everybody gonna get stuck with you.

That's the reason your group is amazing because you're like, lady, you've been in that same hole too long. Move. Move. Move. You need to get out of the how, why, don't know. But when you get to the surface, you're gonna realize you've been stuck too long in a place that shouldn't be it doesn't belong to you.

So great. You know, Susan, one question. You know, we we obviously know that the leadership numbers for women are pretty pathetic in The United States, and I know in other countries, even some, it's worse.

Like, when we look at you know, we can either be empowered to do something about it or we can stay being victims, and we notice women sabotaging themselves.

Like, how do you see that we get to this next level where we do, you know, have more women in higher leadership roles?

I play dumb. I'll I get I get longer in my life playing like the underdog playing dumb. You when I go into a negotiation, I come to a room like, yeah, she looked like a second wife, like the old dude, half maintenance. She cannot be a profiler. Like, and when is my time to shine, that's when you shine. You don't need to be proven to the peep person on the elevator who you are. Reserve that magic.

Like you don't have a surgeon explaining how the Kell brine was taken out on the meat market. You reserve that for the surgical table. Don't waste your energy, your magic, and people who doesn't deserve it. Not everybody need to know your intelligence.

Sometimes the best secret is this the Trojan horse. We need to understand how Trojan horse work, how other people ego work. The Trojan horse is not who was hiding inside the horse. It's the ego of the people who let the horse inside the castle. So be playing the ego up, Study. Be silent. Be quiet. Understand who is empowered. Understand. You don't need to attack.

So one of the things that I love about war our war, Machiavello, and I love about politics is you need to identify the leader and you need to identify the sergeants. You never go to the leader. You always go to the sergeant. That's how you make political campaigns. The president doesn't come and say, I wanna be the president. No. You talk to everyone. And at the time, who can be the president? That person. Really? Oh my god. I can't believe it. But you work on that. Be a strategy. Be playing chess in your head. You don't need to not anybody need to know you're intelligent.

As a women, we have a gift. We take it in granted. Play dumb. If they think you're dumb, nobody gonna touch you. Nobody mess with the last piece of cookie on the bottom of the jar. Nobody want it. Yeah. But guess what? When you're hungry 02:00 02:00 in the morning, it's the best cookie out of the jar. Be the best cookie out of the jar. It seems, you know, you see?

It's like it is a a cheat code to to fully understand the entire game before sharing your magic. That might be one of my favorite things that you said, in addition to, you know, how can I do it? That reframe of there has to be something else in my toolbox to get this thing done. Kelly, what's what's your favorite thing we got from Susan today? Oh, my goodness. Number one, her authenticity.

It wasn't even said. However, you know, I really just believe that stepping into that authenticity and leaving your mark, you know, carrying yourself in a room and really just embodying your uniqueness that you bring to the table is gonna help you build your business and your brand, and I think it's fantastic.

And I also I love just the hacks that you gave us. I think that a lot of women don't realize that there's a lot of strategy that's really involved in harnessing human behavior for you to be able to, you know, kinda show up in the world in a in a greater place.

So, Susan, one of the things that we always do here on the Power Up Your Life podcast and GoBundance is ask, like, what's a resource or connection that would change the ballgame for you or maybe just, you know, the audience that you would typically like to help within your within your business?

I'm gonna tell you the last one and why the best advice in business I hear. Mike Tyson, somebody asked, why you allow everybody to see what is your game? Because when you're on the ring alone and they take the the the little, the little chair away, I punch you in the face. So always be ready.

What I do is I take a die horse, and I make you win the derby. What it mean is were you willing to meet me in the middle? I will not gonna look for you. I will not gonna send you an email. You meet me in the middle.

When you meet me in the middle, you show me you want to. So if you're a dead horse, get water, get in the middle, and I promise you I'm gonna met you there. I'm gonna win the derby.

That is mean to be a better leader. I become the woman you always dream to become. The manager, whoever you're gonna be, I can take you there. I have put politicians, judges, majority I work with with women, but you need to meet me in the middle.

Don't expect me to do all the job. I'm not the person who gonna do the job for you. We are partners in this.

So remember, I'm the person when they take the little chair, gonna give you all the tools to punch it on the fan the face even though they think they know the strategy. That's what you're gonna learn from me.

I love it. And how do listeners get ahold of you?

Susaniewicz.com. Google me. Good news. Nobody else have my name. The bad news. Nobody else have my name. So Susaniewicz.

Absolutely love that. So you've been a tremendous guest, and just thank you for the love and light you bring into the world, Susan. And, you know, for those of you listening, if you're ready to Power Up Your Life Now, head over to our website at powerupyourlifenow.com, and thank you so much for joining us. Share the episode. Leave a testimonial.

And, Susan, thanks for the, you know, for the great conversation. And if you are interested in up leveling, make sure that you check out susanibitz.com. And so we will see you on the next episode of Power Up Your Life.