Episode 3: Ellen Petry Leanse

Hi there, and welcome to the Power Up Your Live podcast, where we are live from Las Vegas right now at former boxer Mike Tyson's home. I am Kelly Resendez. And I am Mandy McAllister. So excited to bring this episode to you. Absolutely.

And we have one of my all time favorites here. Not only is she my amazing neuroscience coach, but Ellen is also an educator, keynote speaker, Silicon Valley innovator, former Stanford University instructor, best selling author, and transformational coach.

So Ellen Petrie Lien has catalyzed positive impact across her career at Apple, Google, and as an entrepreneur as well. Ellen uses her deep understanding of the brain, a topic she explores as the host of the Brain and Beyond podcast, blending neuroscience, human history, and timeless

wisdom. So, Ellen, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you.

Yeah. What an absolute blessing to have you live from New Mexico where you are, and I would love for you to share a little bit about your story and history about what brought you to, you know, step into this amazing neuro science, you know, genius in my in my opinion role?

Thank you. Well, you know, I gotta confess, I've always been a little bit of a nerd. Biology and, you know, all of this stuff about what it means to be human, which is a in sort of biology and also just sort of curiosity have always fueled my life.

And I was very lucky to start my official career, at Apple in 1981, and I spent nine years there and saw the difference of that company across different types of leadership. And when I left Apple as a young mom and, started working with other companies, real confusion came over me about why people didn't have that spark of sort of curiosity and creativity that I had so loved during my time at Apple. And I kinda thought, like I think a lot of women do, that it was something wrong with me.

And so I began to do what many of us do and that's to try to learn more and try to understand more. And so I started under just studying psychology. Psychology very quickly led me to neuroscience. And once I hit the brain, I knew I found my home because it ignited all of my passions and curiosities about the biological world, the sciences, while also giving me new lenses, new insights into what it means to be a human in a spiritual embodied and really day to day way.

So my journey has been informed by frustration and curiosity, answers, breakthroughs, and more and more by connecting with people like you, and I'm sure the listeners on this call.

Yeah. That's absolutely amazing. And one of the things that I've most admired about you is that you are absolutely, like, positively one of the most courageous people that is willing to speak up and to share and be a disruptor Mhmm. Which is so important today's world.

And what I what I found though is that there are a ton of people out there that are struggling because they feel stuck. Maybe they're in that job, but they haven't found their purpose or they're in that relationship that they haven't found, you know, that bravery to be able to get out of.

What would you you know, maybe tell me a story of when you felt stuck before and how you got through it. And then also, what advice would you give to somebody that's feeling stuck in their life and they wanna power up their life?

Right. Well, I think I feel stuck a lot actually. A lot even to this day because I believe that the call of the heroic journey, and we all talk about the hero's journey, but the heroic journey is more than a hero's journey. It's it's an inclusive journey for all of us. The call of the heroic journey is I am meant for more than this. And, you know, often in our culture, we think of that as like ego. I wanna have this. I wanna do this. I wanna do whatever, like, whatever symbol of of who we are, the evidence of our identity. But I am meant for more than this is much more of a soul cry for me.

And for better or for worse, and I'm gonna say largely for better, although it's been a source of frustration many times, that call I am meant for more than this invites me every day to step into more of my birthright of power, my innate power as a human and the responsibilities that are carried with that, but also as a woman woman because women are very, very special in the way that we see and make sense of the world through our our brains, our very powerful female brains. Yet also, I think, through our spirits and how connected we are to all that goes on in the world around us. I feel stuck and burdened, really, when that call of I am meant for more than this, I don't see my step forward and how to answer it.

You know, at this point in my life, I'm an elder, so I've had a lot of practice going, okay, what can I do? What can I apply? I know for people who are earlier in their journey, they feel this way too. My clients tell me this often, and I would say what I've learned to do is to really create a long term vision for myself, almost like a persona of who I aspire to be. When I work with clients and even with groups like GoBundance, you know, you've seen it happen. We connect with our future self, and she becomes our guide and our coach.

And then the other thing that I do when I feel stuck is I have learned through not always easily. I've learned to be patient and gentle with myself

and to be patient. I know. Patient? For us type a people out here, how do we do patience?

Clutch my pearls. You know, it's a word we've all heard, and that is a practice. It's not like a binary thing where you flip on the light and all of a sudden you know how to surrender.

It's always a practice in surrendering. It's always a practice in listening to what is emerging. And by the way, surrender is not giving up and becoming passive. It's understanding you are working with what is happening. Right? Not trying to outpace what is happening or try to

outthink what is happening. It's being with whatever is coming up. Mhmm. That resonates so much that, you know, especially as type a, we're used to just going and applying whatever energy to go straight line get things done.

But some that next level really comes in the listening and the relaxing and the surrender and allowing to happen. I I absolutely love that, Natalie. It it actually, I one thing

on that too. Just because I think this is where the dynamic gets a little sticky, especially for a lot of women. Let's say I know I'm made for more, and I know that I have this deeper purpose in calling, but I also maybe I'm a single mom, and I've gotta financially support my family.

How do you recommend somebody navigate that? You know, they're trying to be in abundance, but they also have to be a realist and pay the bills simultaneously.

Well, Kelly, you know enough about me to know that I have been that person. I have three sons and, you you know, here we are and I lived in reality like all of us do. I won't say it was always easy. I I also felt that there are moments in life where the big picture can be best served by responsibility to what is needed and required at this time. So I always felt that call.

I am meant for more than this. I prayed and hoped and dreamed that there would be a future where I could immerse myself more in this neuroscience and make functional and applied neuroscience for, you know, in ways of supporting people very much the work that I I do. Thank God and thank goodness those days are here.

However, during those times, I had functional I had responsibilities. I had a job to do, and it took faith. And also, maybe it's the most extreme form of surrender is saying, this challenge is here to train me for something that will be of service at a future time. This challenge must be happening because it is the right thing for me right now. And that's not like some self talk or head spin to, like, convince yourself of something.

But you said something really brilliant. I saw it online yesterday, Kelly, about, like, a a negative thing is like a protection or something like that. Yeah. What was it your phrasing was so beautiful. What did you say?

Rejection is is basically God's redirection.

Redirection. Protection. Protection. Yes. So this is so brilliant. And if something is not available to us at this time, as long as we have showed shown up giving all that we can to achieving whatever we aspire to, keeping that abundance mindset, moving toward the vision, and it's not happening,

it's because something better is coming. It's just Right. Yeah. I've seen it for again and again. It happens all the time. And it's not like legislated optimism, like you must have a smile on your face. Right? It's it's true understanding that something is better for you, and this is just keeping you from what you think you want today, that sugar hit. You know? Yeah. Love,

Mandy for saying it that way because in a way, putting on rose coloring everything. Oh, it's how you know, it's all so good right now. Can be a form of denial and unrealism that does not serve.

Yeah. You know, great point because actually where I got that quote from was Jamie Kern Lima's book worthy. And when I first picked it up, I was like, I don't need to read this book. I'm gonna be honest with you. Total vulnerability because I've always felt like I'm the one that's too much. I haven't felt the not enough.

But when when she really started to talk about rejection in the book, it hit home for me because it was something that I had experienced and and the way in which I experienced rejection is much different than other people. And so when I really grabbed on to that, it made me realize that there was still a little bit of that deep worthiness that that I was still trying to prove, explain, or justify.

And that's probably honestly, Ellen, you know, I hear your voice every day over and over. You know, you've been coaching me for a long time. Just I I have nothing to prove, explain, or justify. Justified.

And as as women out there, it's one of the greatest things. Like, we're like, but look at me. Look at all I'm doing. Like, do this, do that. You know, I'm I have it all. All of these other things and really when we just get to true authenticity Yeah. Like, really embody authenticity,

it's coming from a different place. Right? Do you know where it's coming from? It's coming from within. Yes. So we live in a world that worships at the shrine of external validation. All of the prunes of Say that one more time. I said we live in a world that worships at the shrine of external validation. Oof. Right? Yes. I got the chills on that one.

Come up in, you know, one of the things I loved is you asked me to really think of three offerings I can make, and I'm gonna offer a practice, a mindset, and a habit. I don't know what the difference between a practice and a habit are, but we'll figure that out. But the thing is is that we were born with the birthright of being complete. And that doesn't mean that there isn't stuff we have to do in life. There aren't lessons we have to learn. There aren't things we have to collect from the outside world to make ourselves more whole, more not more whole, but but more able to show up in this world and do the things that we're here to do. Yet inside, we are complete. We have nothing to prove, explain, or justify.

And, it's amazing to me. I was with a woman last night, a a new colleague here in Santa Fe who's my contemporary. And I use that phrase at the table as an offering, and her face just dropped. And she was like, why didn't anyone tell me that sixty years ago? Yeah. I'm like, well, better late than never. We have nothing to prove, explain, or justify.

I want every woman out there to know you are here because you are essential. You are needed in the world. You are absolutely the equal of anybody else. Nobody is better than you, higher than you. You have a gift to bring to the world, and you don't have to prove yourself, explain yourself, or justify yourself to bring that gift. And that is the most inclusive and generous thing we can do is to bring everyone together with feeling that.

Love it. All a lot of unprogramming at some point. You know? And you learn Yeah. You're right. You've been such a central figure in a lot of world changing things, Ellen. I, I wanna know what is an unconventional strategy or opinion that you have that many people or some people at least might disagree with?

Slow down. Yeah. A lot of people, you know, it's and by the way, I know that frenzy I've lived it. I've known that, you know, busying myself and trying to grab it all and so forth. I've been on that chase.

At this point, when I look at the best decisions, the best fortunes, by by fortune, I mean serendipity, good luck, things like that, the best fortune that's come to my life, the best relationships, they've all happened on a different type of time than the pursuit has happened.

And the more I deepen into that slowing down, the more I know myself, the more access I have to what I think is my the the thing I'm here to offer to the world, my maybe my soul, my spirit, whatever it might be, and, the more fun I have.

That's amazing. So tell me a little bit more for somebody listening that that seems impossible because I'm waking up. I'm getting the kids to school. I've gotta get online. I've gotta do all of these things. How would you recommend that they slow down? Like, what would some of those things look like for you?

Yeah. You know, the gotta do's exist in my life, in your life, in all of our lives. They do. Even taking three minutes every hour to come back into breath and presence.

Presence, as I've learned over everything I've learned, if someone said, you know, what is the lessons of a lifetime? And it's cultivating presence, coming into presence, wholeness in the body. We can add meetings. We can end meetings ten minutes or five minutes before the hour. We can make that a discipline. And take those five minutes simply to drop back in and remember who we are.

Take a moment. I'm inside now. If I turn my head this far, lucky me, I get to look at a tree. If I spend twenty seconds, if I spend ten seconds looking at nature, just observing nature, my entire neurochemistry shifts. My brain actually activates in different ways. That's simply the way it works.

You know, there are even stories this is evidence that shown that even people who keep a picture of a little potted plant on their desk can calm their brain and central nervous system just by looking at it. So a breath, one breath, a moment to look at nature. We could even be having a business conversation and I could look out the window. My whole neurochemistry changes.

I love it. Remembering really remembering nothing to prove, explain, or justify does does add up with your question too. What are we doing to prove our worth, to ex to justify who we are? If we're playing that game where it's not a game we'll ever win. Mhmm. So what can we do to unbusy ourselves and come into wholeness and presence even for one minute every hour?

Even if it's just that little sip. I I love how actionable that is. I run most of my life on Calendly. I've set it up so I have a fifteen minute buffer between meetings so that I have that opportunity to, a, finish a thought and just b for a second, gather from thought.

And how are you doing on that? I'm working on it. My great Ellen. She keeps telling me to slow down and girl, I am working on it. I want you to know. I'm tired with it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's really good. So, Ellen,

real quick, I'll just say, I have deadlines too. I have milestones too. I, you know, scramble through the day on meetings too. Yet coming back only for a moment to unbusy myself. Mhmm. Who decided busy was the point?

I don't know that either. I do. I don't either. But it was modeled for us a lot. That's for sure.

So it would not be a proper conversation with you without talking a little bit about the brain. You know, like you, I got a little obsessed with neuroscience once I started to understand, like, really how how outdated, you know, our brain is in dealing with life today.

Would you tell us just a little bit about the difference between our right and left brain and and maybe just give one really big for our listeners

about their brain. Because so many people just believe their their thoughts or they are their brain. Yeah. I love it. So the big always begins with you are not your brain. I don't know what you are, but you're not your brain. We know that.

So the first thing is the left hemisphere is the hemisphere of linear pursuit of outcomes. Think of how important that is for humans across all time, you know, as long as we've been around, to be able to get things done, to be able to stay on track with pursuits. Linear pursuits, finding answers, moving from point a to point b, very, very important. The right hemisphere is the realm of the vast, Big picture, pattern recognition, complexity, making sense of things over time. This tends to be the short term brain. This tends to be the long term brain. They are meant to work together, yet important to know your brain will do whatever it's doing right now.

And in the culture we live in, it is the left's hemispheric stuff. Raise your hand fast. Be the first in your class to raise your hand. Get the job done. Check it off the list. Be busy. All of this. It creates this illusion that we are actually contributing, that we're actually doing a good job when all it's doing is short term linear pursuit of outcomes.

Mhmm. I believe that by rebalancing the right hemisphere for all humans, and it's very, very important for women, by the way, we tend to be a little bit more right hemisphere active because tend to be because of our our hormones, our neurohorm our our neurochemistry, which is quite different from male neurochemistry. But the real difference is get it get it done, answer it, pin the tail on the donkey, whatever it is. Very important, very good. I wouldn't wanna live without it, but this one is. Okay. But what matters here? What's the bigger picture? What, you know, what more is there?

The third part of the brain that's really important to talk about is the prefrontal cortex, which is the home of our highest human cognition. And the prefrontal cortex is the intentional part of the brain where we set an intention, and then we can sort of guide how we think about things. So if we think about those three components and how complimentary they are, we're gonna wanna make sure we know how to invite all of them online.

I invite my left hemisphere. It's trained enough. It gets the job done. It knows what it's doing. I invite my left hemisphere online by slowing down, as I said earlier. It is slightly slower than the left hemisphere by looking at a bigger picture, even if all that is is gazing out my window and seeing things. And I bring my my, prefrontal cortex online with what I call the ABCs.

A, awareness. Awareness can be one of two things. It could be awareness. I want to focus in a different way right now, or it can be like, wait, I'm getting pulled off the track and I need to come back. Awareness first. B, breath. One deep breath. One breath brings more oxygen to the brain and allows the capacities of the prefrontal cortex to come online. And trust me, we all want the capacities of the prefrontal cortex to come online.

And then c is curiosity. Curiosity is so important to cultivating presence. And I like to throw in d two, then we can make a better decision. Curiosity could be what matters now, what more might be there that I do not yet see, what is my intention for this moment, open ended questions about what matters.

Wow. Absolutely brilliant. Well, Ellen, I could not be more blessed to have had you here today. I just wanna kinda go, you know, just to recap a few things. Number one, you know, we are not our brains. And and just really having that awareness that we need to give it a bigger vision for what it needs to take action on rather than letting it stay in that default mode of survival. And so you have really helped me with that.

Number two, I would say what I really heard you say is that worthiness is our birthright. And, again, we have nothing to prove, explain, or justify. I think at some point, I had told you that I, you know, I don't have any tattoos. I'm a little little on the conservative side. Right? And I I I think I told you that I was gonna get that tattooed on me, and you kinda were like, no. Because at some point, you're no longer going to need even even that sense of direction that it's giving you today.

And so, you know, for myself, just listening to everything that you said, you know, I think what does go against the grain most is really just, you know, slowing down and letting go and tapping into this this amazing feminine power. And and you have taught me so much in this area, and I know that everyone listening probably wants to get in touch with you and learn more about how you or your amazing events that I know that you host as well. I know you've been to quite a few GoBundance women's events with us, but let us know how we can get in touch with you.

One thing I would love for people to do is if if you're on Instagram, follow me there because I started sharing something I call brainwaves, and I have a trick up my sleeve. Pretty soon, I'm also gonna do mind moves, which is more the psychology less than the neuroscience. They're pretty cool.

But in these brainwaves, you can spend literally one or two minutes and learn important facts about different parts of your brain. So you can bring them onto your team of the you you most want to be. When you understand the prefrontal cortex or the amygdala or the hippocampus and, oh, boy, oh, boy, when we get into the hemispheres, you can understand the different modes and kind of gears that your brain has in ways that help you get more of what you want out of the experience.

So if you put my name, Ellen Petrie Leance, on Instagram, you're gonna find me real easily.

Love it. We'll put that in the show notes for sure. Ellen, you're such a giver. You're you you show up and you you give this bright light. You give this incredible, world changing opinion on so many things. I'm I wanna know and our listeners want to know, what is a resource or an introduction that would change the ballgame for you?

Oh, wow. Thank you so much. And I am I'm ready to state it. I want to share this message on bigger stages with a bigger world.

If you're out there and you're thinking there's anything about understanding the brain, understanding our birthright of innovative problem solving, understanding who we are as women and why we matter to the world today Mhmm. Please let me know how I can share that that message with whatever audience you have in mind. It is my absolute favorite thing to do.

Love it. And we have had you speak at our events and and mind blowing. And for those of you that missed it, one of the things that Ellen has really shared with us is, like, naming that ten year vision. You know, and mine is daring diva. You know, I definitely just challenge myself to be more daring in my life.

So thank you, Ellen. Again, go find her on Instagram. Check out her events. Book her to speak. You have been incredible today. Thank you so much for joining us. And helping women power up their lives. Thank you, Ellen. Up your lives. By the way, we need you to. Thank you. Yes.

Thank you, Ellen.