Episode 21: Purpose and Possibility: Real Talk

Hi, everybody. It's Kelly Resendez with the Power Up Your Life podcast brought to you by GoBundance Women. I'm Kelly Resendez.

And I am Mandy McAllister.

Did I already say my name twice? I have no idea, but it doesn't matter because I'm not trying to be perfect today.

So we have got a very special episode for you. This is Real Talk with Kelly and Mandy, and we are going to dig into that season where you might be feeling a little off. Maybe you are lacking clarity. You are feeling a little stuck with what is to come, and here's the trip. We're both in it right now. And so we are going to chat through how we're managing it, get some ideas. Hopefully, you're gonna comment in the chat, maybe give us some of your wisdom as well as we go through this.

So, Mandy, I'm gonna hand it over to you. Like, kinda tell me a little bit about what this experience has been like. You've always been someone that's, like, moving forward and powering, and I've got to witness you moving from a w two, having such clarity that you wanted to be a real estate investor. And then lo and behold, you are a full time real estate investor, and then you got into buying businesses, but yet it's not everything that you wanted it to be. Right? You're feeling a little bit like there's more.

What's going on? I feel like this is so incredibly necessary because, you know, me six steps ago, to get to see someone experience that this maybe isn't exactly all of the puppy dogs and fluffy clouds that they thought it would be before jumping in is so incredibly important.

You know, I I have always been, you know, had this very clear vision of exactly what I need to do, exactly where I need to be to hit these goals. And then I get to go into my love language of spreadsheets and decipher exactly how to make it happen. Right? But in '21, when I left my w two, you know, trying to decide what's next, you know, this idea of buying businesses makes so much sense to me because one thing in GoBundance, we dissect people's net worth and how they got there to 10,000,000 to a 100,000,000, whatever. And I kept seeing this pattern that the people who made it to a $100,000,000 or made it to $10,000,000 really fast, did it with a business interest. So it made so much sense to me to go and buy a business.

And we bought a car wash. We bought a motel. We bought these things that were heavier businesses and not just real estate. And the the lessons are in the the the people, in the management, the figuring out, how to scale to a point where I can work on it rather than in it.

So one piece of clarity that you and I have talked about a lot is I've now made all of these little bets across this spectrum of things that I'm doing and nothing I'm I'm kinda starting at zero on each one. Right? So how do I either align the things that I'm doing, get the right person in terms of the leader of each of these things, and try to figure out how to move forward.

So I'll say that, you know, actionable, because we're all about action here at the Power of Your Life podcast. One thing that has really mattered to me is I what what can I sub subtract to be able to go further faster? Right? So the ultimate decision where I'm at now is I feel like I need to pick which thing needs to go. Because I can't at the exact same time you can do everything. You just can't do everything all at once. Right? So when it comes to the the growing something that I get to work on rather than in, for me, it's it's not the car wash property. It's not the car wash business because I need to go buy four more to have the scale to to be able to afford the right person. So that is the thought process I'm at.

Kelly, I I know, you know, I really look to you for everything abundance. For when I find myself looking into my love language of spreadsheets for all of the answer, you always remind me that, you know, believing in unlimited possibilities is a path, the path to things that are beyond your wildest dreams. Yeah. So seeing you riding the abundance frequency, seeing you, you know, go into retirement and figure out your next path. Yeah. It's been very interesting to to see you not have the right answer every single time for yourself. Tell me a little bit about how you're getting yourself on stuff. Yeah. Well, let me tell you. I have an abundance

of a lack of clarity right now. Is that possible? You know, that's one of the things that, you know, I'm I haven't talked about for so many years that in abundance, clarity will come. You know, I think as humans, we want it now. We want it this minute. We want it when we want it. And part of that is is going back into I've gotta be flexible and adaptable, and I've gotta I've gotta await the signs, and that's not fun.

I mean, I'm gonna be honest with you. I you know, for for those of you listening, I just took a step back. I've been an executive at GoodLeap for fourteen years, and I'm now a strategic adviser and don't have the same responsibility in in running three three divisions that I had been running previously. So I went from being full to not as full. And the best way that I could describe it to a friend the other day is I might I feel like I'm on a marshmallow. Right? I'm trying to get solid and I'm just moving all over the place and not really knowing.

And then I'm watching myself judge myself for not being as productive or, you know, I kinda gave myself permission not to set my alarm and sleeping more than what I've slept before. And then I'm looking at it and I'm like, dang, girl. Like, give yourself some grace. Like, I have been working. You know, my mom started to have me work at 13. I worked every summer. I work I started working in the evenings in high school. Like, I have worked. I started at the bank that I stayed at for sixteen years when I was 18 years old. Like, I have worked. I've raised kids, and yet here I am in this place of, like, this doesn't feel right either. Like, feeling lazy doesn't feel right right either.

So now it's it's really just coming into this place of, like, there's a big unknown and clarity, but I'm gonna keep trying different things. So, like, this podcast, I've been up really early today. I feel better waking up early. I do. So, like, that's clarity. So I might need to set appointments in order to get myself up early because when I don't have them, I'm not getting up as early. So that's clarity. It's not I know exactly what I'm gonna do to make a massive impact in the world type of clarity, but it's the little micro micro moments of clarity that I have that I'm cherishing, and then I'm writing down.

And I'm using that to be able to say, like, how am I gonna be the best version of me? Well, I wanna make a massive impact in the world. I know that. I don't need to. And so there's a big difference between those two things. Before, it came from a place of need, and now it's just like I want to. So, like, what's that gonna look like for myself, and how am I gonna invite more of that into my life?

And so I believe, Mandy, wholeheartedly that for people like you and I who have been hyper productive our entire lives, the belief that I must remain hyper productive in order to be valued, to be seen, to be understood is the lie. That's the lie. But, like, finding that really that that deep, like, this is just who I am, and I'm making that big of an impact in the world is where we get, like, we can get a little stuck because we don't have it yet. We don't, like, like, it just it hasn't hit. Like, we haven't hit the jackpot, you know?

And I I I just came out of an event last week, the Austin Entrepreneurial Summit that GoBundance put on and, was listening to a few speakers. And, you know, one of the greatest pieces of advice or wisdom that I took away is that too many of us are looking at the unicorns trying to emulate them. So we're looking at the Cody Sanchez's. We're looking at the, you know, the people, the Mel Robbins, the bigger people that are out there, and then trying to emulate something around, you know, what they do. And it's like, no. Like, it is when we really find and tap into what we really love to do.

Like, I am not going to post on social media seven days a week, period. I don't like it. I don't love it. I'm not gonna freaking do it. Right? And so that's clarity. But if I look at what she says or what this person says, you should be doing it, and I'm done. I'm done with the shoulds. You know? Ellen Petrie Lenz, one of our members and friends and my mentor, says we've gotta quit shitting all over ourselves. And that's exactly where, like, right now, that's just I'm I'm just trying to be open to the idea that clarity is gonna come, and it's gonna come in different forms.

I I completely agree. And it's it's this idea of how do I trust my own judgment? I I've had the opportunity to to mentor a bunch of multifamily investors because that's kind of my shtick. That's how I bought my way out of my w two. And this idea of underwriting is so scary to people because they don't know how to trust their own judgment. I love that you're doing these things that are micro wins so that you're you're really pouring cement on where you can trust yourself.

And I think it's so important too to to not look at the, the people, the Mel Robbins, like, but I thought that before, but I've said that before. Yes. And the package that she's done is so perfectly her, that that is the thing that makes it work. So the real win is how do you figure out your inner knowing? How do you trust your own judgment? How do you lean into those things?

A book that I love on this is, I don't know if you've read it, the surrender experiment by Mickey singer. And it's, it's the thing I'm not good at. I can manhandle my way into productivity and spreadsheet something until I have a path. What I'm not great at is is patience, is the the waiting for that clue and trusting myself because that's that's something that we don't teach really. Right? We we teach stuff in school and and go get a good job and go do those things. We don't teach learn how to harness your intuition and what you're feeling in your body.

And that's something at 44 that I'm really working on now to decide what is the opportunity that aligns with my end goals. You know, in terms of an actionable path forward, the thing that matters to me most is the the life that I'm building. Right? So Mandy at 44 is doing things today that are gonna directly affect the life of Mandy at 64. So I think about her a lot.

Yeah. And I have conversations with her, you know, that it you know that you don't we know that people don't show up for themselves in the same way that they'll show up for an accountability buddy. Well, I'm making Mandy at 64 my accountability buddy. And that sleep that I didn't wanna get because I wanted to watch another episode of Billions, that that wouldn't help Mandy at 64 prepare for the things that I'm doing today.

You know? So what is something that you do to kinda hack your way into these better decisions for the future to make sure that you're sculpting whatever clarity that, you know, you're gonna climb this ladder. Right? How do you make sure that that ladder is against the right wall?

Yeah. So what I would say is that my nonnegotiable haven't changed. So my morning ritual is still my nonnegotiable. My my wanting to really make a difference in other people's lives is still become a non negotiable. But what I've added in now is a non negotiable is curiosity and creativity time. I'm having conversations with people that I normally wouldn't have conversations with because I wanna learn about some of these other things to be able to figure it out.

Because, like, I'll I'll give you my honest truth. I'm teetering between wanting to build a billion dollar tech company and wanting to sit on a beach and drink a margarita. Like, there's no, like for me, it's like, I I'm kind of like a no in between kind of person. Right? And so then I'm like, well, why can't I do both? Like, what could that potentially look like? Like, why do I why does it have to be one or the other? And and so I'm in curiosity of what what would that really look like because I've had to be really honest with myself rather than judgmental of myself.

I might look at myself and say I'm really lazy, or I might look at myself and say I'm a visionary. I am a visionary, and I don't like to do a lot of work. I like to do leadership. I like to do personal growth and development. I like to make an impact in other people's lives. But if you give me a spreadsheet, holy moly. Like, I literally like, when you talk about spreadsheets, I get visceral, like, whatever.

I gave up on math and spreadsheets a long time ago. Like, I was really good at it. You know, I was the person that was in calc three when I was in high school. Most people don't know that about me, but I didn't enjoy it. And so I really just have let that go. Like, I could have done really good in accounting or whatnot. I have that math brain, but, like, more important to me is my creativity and and just the in in in seeing that as a superpower because I think for a lot of people, like, it's it's I'm not smart enough or I'm not good enough or I'm not any of these other things. And it's like, no. I just really am more focused on these other things, and I don't need to do them as much as I would if I was in a job where I needed to, you know, crunch numbers or or things like that.

So for myself, giving me like this new non negotiable is how do I have more connections with people that are in the venture capital space that are in the I wanna change the world space because that's what's exciting to me. And so I have five companies right now that I'm playing with, investing in a couple of them from gut microbiome to supply chain management issues in third world countries. Like, it is a vast, you know, vast amount of different things that I'm doing, but I'm also, like, I wanna I wanna play with this a little bit because I'm getting curious about what what it really looks like to to help more female founders tap into venture capital.

And so the only way I'm gonna know that is to be on the other side of it, to be exposed to what that looks like. And then just be curious and and not afraid. You know, I was I was sitting at somewhere in Florida and met somebody that's a VC in Boston, and I reached out to him this weekend and was like, great to meet you. I'd love to continue that conversation or just other people so that I can so that I can learn more about the things that I don't know.

Love the idea of openness because that's the only way that you you get new ideas is if you're open to them. And I also love this idea, and this might help anybody who is is seeking clarity, this idea of nonnegotiables. What are your nonnegotiables? And if you hit a point of lack of clarity, do those nonnegotiables maybe need to shift or change?

It's this idea of, like, Ray Dalio's principles book. You know? The the thing my primary takeaway from that book is that you should have principles. You know? Like, it's neat to hear this really smart, you know, rich guy's principles, but, like, what are your personal ones? Because you are living your life. You're not living somebody else's life.

You know, one thing in terms of this seeking clarity and real talk that we're providing to people now that I know I went through and you're kind of in it right now. You're shifting from multibillion dollar company executive to figuring out your your next path. There is an identity shift in that. You know? Tell me a little bit about things that you're doing and the feelings around it because when you leave something big, we've had lots of members of GoBundance that were physicians or attorneys that now wanna be short term rental real estate investors. That is a big, like, mourning the loss of all of that education. You know? So tell me a little bit about your

identity shift that you're in. Oh my gosh, Mandy. You know, when we we've all heard, like, what follows I am, so powerful. And we don't we don't realize how heavy that identity is in how we represent ourselves to the world, whether it's I'm a mom or I'm an executive at a multibillion dollar company or I'm a investor or whatever.

I'm gonna just be totally vulnerable and honest, like, from a very young age, and I I got wired this way. I got wired, and I'm saying it this way because it's important to recognize, like, it's not who I am, but it's something I have to live with. I was wired to be important. I wanted to be important. I wanted to be significant.

And so now I'm 21 into this, right, of doing all the work, and I'm still fighting a part of me that is really challenging to unwind. It really is. Like, I wish I could tell you that there was a magic secret to meditation or to other things, but, like, it it just it's in it's it's just part of who I am. And so now it's harnessing, like, okay, if I have this need, I'm gonna make sure I I really do good with it and and really make sure that it's it's gonna make a big impact in the into the world.

And so, you know, I got to speak for the first time last week without saying that I am, you know, it's I'm a former executive now, and it's just it's just one of those things. And then can I have a conversation with myself? Like, what does it really matter? Nobody really cares. Right? Nobody at the end of the day, everybody just cares about themselves. Like, I I hate to say it, but, like, that's just the reality. Maybe your kids, your parents, but, like, for the most part, nobody really gives a shit. Right? They just don't.

And so even though I had those conversations with myself, I I still wrestle with this identity thing. And so the most important thing that I really try to focus on is just the most valuable thing to me that follows I am is I'm impactful. Because I do believe that we're here to make future generations continue. I mean, you can't fight with why we are who we are. Like, we're here to procreate. That's it. Like, survival wasn't supposed to go beyond that. Like, it really wasn't. And so, you know, the more impact that I can make, the better.

And so it is a constant conversation with myself, though. I'm gonna be honest with you. Like, it is like, it it felt weird. Like, I actually called you right after I made the decision, and I was just like it was like jumping off a cliff, but it was a cliff that I've been standing on for four freaking years. Right? Mhmm. Of, like, I need to like, I kept feeling like I need to do this. When I let go of need and it was just, I am 51. I am impactful. I needed more capacity in order to to impact. And so that's honestly what this decision came from.

But it's also it it's also one of those things where it it can be scary for anyone out there that thought that critical you're at that critical point where you need to make a decision. Maybe you wanna be a full time mom. Maybe you wanna, you know, apply for a promotion. Maybe you wanna start your own company. You know, just know that it is a lot of self talk that you're gonna go through, and then you need to surround yourself with other people that are like, I see you. I see you. I don't you like, Mandy, you don't see me as an executive in a multibillion dollar company. You see me. It doesn't really matter. But, like, we've made it matter because we have so much programming from our entire life that tells us that it does matter. Right?

Yes. It's that monkey mind. It's that chat and that conversation that happens here. I coach, like junior high and high school volleyball and watching these 14 year old kids and the conversation that goes on in their minds, that that it's so clear.

And, you know, what you're saying and anybody who is at a thing where they're they're nervous to take whatever jump off that cliff, if you're holding onto the branch, you don't know if you can fly until you choose to let go. There there is a point in time where you have to make that choice and just trust and mitigate all that risk and decide what is worst case scenario. And and for me, I know that I realized I had built so much goodwill in medical devices that I knew that, you know, three phone calls and I could find another job in a month Right. If I needed to. Right? So what if if you're missing if you're if you're concerned, what could your plan b be? And then just revisit it on a a regular basis.

I also really love that you said I am, and it's not like a thing or a title. It's one of your values. I am impactful. This idea of of values has been so incredibly critical to me and shaping that North Star of my life.

I'm in a recently blended family and actually something that I took from you, and I don't know if I told you I did this, but we had a little family meeting. And the new newly formed five person family, we each picked a value that mattered to us as this new unit. And then we made like a pretty picture and put it up in the house so that we can keep it in front of the kids and remind ourselves what values matter to us.

So Yeah. Deciding your principles, deciding your values, I think that is an excellent way to get unstuck. So something we ask at the end of each one of our podcasts that I think is is critical for our listeners here, and I know that you're in it with your your changes. Now tell us, tell me, tell our listeners, what is something, an introduction or a resource that would change the ball game for you?

Yeah. I think for myself, it's connecting with amazing people of influence that really want to in invest in solving the challenge around female founders. You know, only two and a half percent of VC. So if other people out there are really interested, I think the more of us that come together on this one thing, and I'm all about this isn't about equality. This is just about, like, what's what's best for the planet. Right? Like, we need more women to start companies that have greater flexibility.

You know, I was asked on a on a podcast earlier, like, what what made it easy for you to live in in your priorities? You know, we talked about balance and being bullshit. Right? And so, you know, I chose an industry initially that had a lot of flexibility in it because I was a 100% commission. Well, we need more flexibility for women to be able to thrive when they're having kids. It's like, let's be honest. Like, we are we are told to do a lot more, than than our male counterparts.

So any any connection with women that are passionate about supporting, female founders. So I'm gonna throw it back to you, Mandy, as you kinda go through this shift and and transition in your life. What's one resource or connection that's gonna change the ballgame for you?

Thanks, Kyle. I have been in constant curiosity too and leaning into the things with data points, but the stuff that feels right. And the the thing that I'm most excited about right now is a project around assisted living, specifically residential assisted living.

So we want to help out those residential assisted livings become more known so that, you know, people who are patients if your if your dad broke his hip, where do you put him? How do you find that group? You you don't know how unless it's word-of-mouth.

So we anyone related to residential assisted living, that is someone I wanna talk to because we are building something that's gonna be, really cool and help, you know, not just those owners, but also the people looking for care.

And, Mandy, I mean, just I and you probably remember this, but, like, I almost lost my dad because they sent him to the wrong place. They sent him to more of a convalescent type home that he got forgotten in. I barely got him got him out of there. He was almost dead by the time I picked him up and and put him into a residential care home with six people and the most loving, amazing caregivers that I could ever imagine, and they nursed him back to health. And he's about to, you know, celebrate his ninetieth birthday walking. I never would have thought years ago, three years ago that he would have walked again simply because of how poorly he was treated in that in that facility initially. So thank you so much for doing that work.

That's a problem. You know, for those of you listening, when you think about businesses, they're just all about solving problems. So if you give yourself five minutes a day, ten minutes a day just to to write down all the problems that you see in the world, there are so many creative ideas. I mean, when you look at Spanx, ladies, like, somebody was like, shit. It's a problem. Sorry. I'm, like, cussing today. But, like, it's a problem. I could see a little wiggly wiggly in this tight dress. Right? And then here there Sarah comes in and saves the day for all of us.

But every one of you has an amazing idea in your head. We've gotta start focusing on solving problems. And whether you buy a business, start a business, you know, invest in a business, the more we support one another, the better the world's gonna be. So just thank you for being here on the Power Up Your Life podcast with Mandy and myself.

If you love this episode, you wanna hear more, maybe you wanna maybe you wanna hear from Mandy and I more. Share it with us. Know you liked it real talk. You know? Awesome. Let's close this out, Mandy.

Awesome. Thank you today for joining us on the Power Up Your Life podcast. Make sure you share this with anybody. Like us, subscribe. It really helps us get the word out. And definitely let us know in the show notes that you like, or don't like these real talk ones because we we can do more of them for you. So we will see you next time. Awesome. Take care.