Episode 14: Ashley Huegi | From Burnout to Breakthrough

On today's episode of Power Up Your Life, we have GoBundance women's very own Ashley Hughey. Ashley helps ambitious mompreneurs scale their businesses without burnout, achieving success while staying fully present with their families. Having managed multiple businesses while navigating motherhood, she understands the struggles of doing it all. Her mission is to empower women to align their time, energy, and strategy and break through limits and build while thriving. As a leader in GoBundance Women, she is committed to helping high achieving women grow their wealth, but, build meaningful connections and elevate every aspect of their lives through community, accountability, and continuous growth. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Power Up Your Life podcast brought to you by GoBundance Women. I'm Mayden McCallister. And I'm Kelly Resendez. And today, guys, we have a real special GoBundance Women treat. We have with us Ashley Hughey. Ashley, hi. Hi. Thanks for having me. I'm super excited to be here. Oh, we couldn't be more excited to have you here. Well, Ashley, we've already heard your bio. Maybe tell us in your own words, a little bit about yourself and your journey.

Yeah. So, let's see. Kel, you and I have worked together. I think this is our thirteenth year. I started back in the mortgage industry and ran, marketing and business development there while I was getting my masters because when I originally graduated with, an interior design degree, that was during the recession, and I realized nobody was looking for interior designer. So I went back to school, and Kel hired me, and I was there for, gosh, I think about ten years.

I became licensed and originated loans myself while I had two babies. And then I kinda just realized that this there's gotta be more to than, you know, being in the back of a loan. I I really enjoy the connections and helping women buy houses. That was kind of my primary demographic, but I just realized that this was not what I was passionate about anymore.

And ergo, I am here at GoBundance Women. I have been here for about two years now, and I gosh. The gifts that this community has given me and how I've been able to rewrite my own story has just been so powerful. And so I am just super passionate about helping women really, you know, scale without sacrifice, and I can share a little bit more about my journey on that as well.

Amazing. In which I get but I'm just blessed that I've had an opportunity to work with you so long and then watch you, you know, really just kind of blossom before my eyes from from being single to married to having kids and and just being a tremendous partner here.

So just couple things. What would you say one of the greatest gifts of, like, seeing how an environment can support you? You know, you've always been super ambitious and and whatnot. Like, how do you really feel like an environment can support somebody's, you know, business goals and and ambitions?

Yeah. You know, for me, it's really kind of just redefining what success looks like. And, also, as women, we're we're, you know, nurturers, and we're kind of taught at a young age to kind of suppress what we're feeling or dealing with and kind of cover everything up. And, you know, that's really not sustainable. You're you're sacrificing. You're, you know, saying one self sacrificing yes, or maybe you're making a decision that doesn't align with your goals. Or, you know, oftentimes, we're really bad at asking for help, and I think that is probably the number one gift is just being in an environment.

You know? I came from a, a male dominated industry, I would say, and I was like, what am I gonna do with a 150 women? Like, I have no idea. What am I gonna do here? And I quickly realized, oh my gosh. These are my people. This is a really safe place for me to be vulnerable, to share things that are going on personally and professionally and really ask for help and guidance.

And so I think that's the number one thing is just the culture that we've created here to be vulnerable and to make those ask and to actually have a platform or somebody you can call and to actually have a platform or somebody you can call and just share. Like, that to me has probably been the number one gift that I've gotten from this community.

Mhmm. Vulnerability truly is the ultimate strength. You know? So it it's been so fun to get to watch you, like, lean into this. And now as vice president of growth and operations, I I could not be more proud to be running directly next to you.

We we focus so much on scale, and we focus so much on, you know, what's next. Right? So one thing that matters a lot to me is, you know, you always you don't always it's not always smooth sailing. Right? Sometimes you get stuck. Right?

And I'm I'm curious for you. When you end up feeling stuck as you're chasing something, how do you get yourself unstuck? What are some steps that you take?

Oh, I love this question. I appreciate this so much. I I think I my my own journey, and I've really been rewriting my story the last two years about this because I think I hit total burnout. But one of the most important things that I think we can ask ourselves is, how did I get here? Because the truth is is we don't really wake up stuck. We arrive there one subtle decision at a time. And, you know, for me, it was ignoring a nudge or that one self sacrificing yes or really one day of shrinking or settling. Sometimes we don't often realize we're stuck until we really hit a wall, and that's kind of what happened for me.

And I had to come face to face with a truth that I didn't really want to admit, and that was chasing a version of success that wasn't really meant for me. And while everything kind of looked impressive from the outside, I was checking all the boxes, doing all the right things, growing business with my mortgage business, raising two young boys, leading, serving, showing up for everyone. But on the inside, I I hit a total wall, and I was exhausted. I was running on fumes and cortisol, and I was kind of buried underneath this blueprint that, you know, celebrated hustle and rewarded self neglect. And I thought I had to be everything to everyone, and, you know, I thought this is, like, my own script and narrative that I've had to change, but I I thought slowing down meant I was weak or that I was less successful. But what I really needed in that moment was just to really pause and tell myself the truth that I was chasing this dream that didn't include myself.

Mhmm. So it it was this version of success, like I said, that was built on burnout. And so I think, for me, one of the decisions and one of the hardest choices I I had to make in my life was to just burn burn it all down. And the systems, the beliefs, what society told me, what friends told me, all these expectations that I had. And I kinda had to rebuild it from the inside out because I realized that I'm not here to survive success, that I'm here to, you know, really live it.

And there's a couple things that I ask myself anytime I I feel stuck because we all get in seasons where we feel stuck. Like, right before this call, I had to get myself of you know, getting out of stuck because I was a little bit nervous. But first, the first thing I do is, you know, you have to get radically honest with yourself. And what I did in my life was really evaluate, my relationships, my health, and ask myself, have I really given my all in in all these areas of my life? Or have I been living a life that just checks the boxes and kind of empties my soul? And for me, that was kind of the first, like, oh my goodness. Like, I am not where I'm supposed to be.

And and the second thing is stop waiting for the perfect time. I'm a perfectionist or I should say recovering perfectionist still working on that script myself. But the perfect time is never coming, and I think what Jen Gottlieb said to us in Puerto Rico really resonated with me is just start before you're ready, and don't compare your chapter one to somebody else's chapter 20. And, you know, just take the the brave step now and just continue to make that choice over and over even if it's a small step. Just choose to be a little bit better every day.

And then the third thing is choose yourself. And this has been the hardest part for me because I think I'm an oldest child, and I've had this part of my I've had to rewrite this story to myself so many times. I don't need permission to want more, and, you know, I don't have to keep performing for approval. And I love what Ellen Petri Lynn says. She's one of our members, and, Kel, I know she's, one of your coaches, but you don't have to prove, explain, or justify. And so I had to make the decision that I'm not here to prove. I'm just here to be. And I have to pull myself up every single day, and sometimes that means walking away from things that once defined me. And sometimes you might disappoint a few people along the way, to come back home to your true self. And so, you know, that's the kind of the journey that I've been on and what I ask myself, you know, anytime I feel stuck.

Wow. Absolutely amazing. There's so much to unpack there because, you know, when you make that decision and you go through this process, you know, part of what we have to do is rewire our nervous system.

When we're so used to being in the grind and in hyper productivity, which a lot of us that are in, you know, the perfectionism, you know, people pleasing world, like, you get wired that that's just the way that life is. Right? So then when you make that decision and you have that awakening, you know, it's extremely uncomfortable. Like, extremely uncomfortable because you're like, well, what is the what's the measurement stick? Like, what do I what do I use now?

Like, when you're just being present, there's no, like, rapid reward system that you really get. Like, what would you say, like, that process felt like? And how did you talk yourself through it? Because I know for myself, like, I wanna start doing. Like, I wanna start producing again. And being in that calm allowed me the clarity that I needed to move forward. But, like, how did you how did you move through that discomfort, Ashley?

It was not glamorous. You know, sometimes it looked like crying in a closet for a couple minutes and just really allowing myself to feel because I was so numb for so long. It was really like you mentioned, it was so uncomfortable. And just sitting with the feelings, honestly, I think that was the biggest thing is just allowing myself to grieve, I think, you know, this old version of myself.

And, you know, I actually did a couple exercises, and one of, you know, this inner child work. And one thing that I realized in one of the visions that I had was I went back. Like, the first thing that I the there was this exercise, and you had to go back to this first memory and really, like, understand it. And this vision that I had was this I was five years old, and I was walking with my grandmother. And I'm gonna get choked up because my grandmother is just this special person for me. And, I just remember, like, in that moment, I felt safe, and I felt calm, and I was confident. Like, I could have done anything in the world.

And so I think it was, you know, giving myself permission to feel that way again as well, but also grieve this part that I was just so numb. And like you mentioned, just operating my nervous system was just I was my cortisol had to have been so high, and I was just operating from flight or fight, all the time. And, you know, my body physically had to go through, kind of this journey as well that I'm just now getting through on the other side.

And so, it was not easy, but I can say with full confidence that I stand here now after the last really it's been probably more than twelve months that I feel so much better. Yeah. And, again, it just goes back to making decisions every single day to really take care of myself. And that felt really selfish at first. But now I realize, like, a lot of times we say, we would die for our kids, but I wanna live for my kids. And so that's just, you know, that's what gives me the motivation to keep going.

That makes me so happy. Cuppendino, we're so lucky to have you. I I think it's such a common refrain with the the women we surround ourselves with, especially ones that have made really big, career or life changes to go from this is my identity. I am an executive in a multibillion dollar company to this is this is the life that I actually want to live. And maybe it doesn't, define me in the way that I thought I would want, but it is actually what I want.

And in that kind of things are falling apart time, it's so important that you take care of yourself. So, you know, maybe actionable things. Tell me a couple of things that you do that help you remember to take care of yourself. What's something that you really dive into when you're going through that identity reformation?

Okay. You're gonna laugh. Hiding in the bathroom for, like, three minutes because for all the moms out there, we know we all do that is hide the bathroom from our kids.

Yeah. Yes. Okay. So you're gonna laugh, but this is how I remember it. I pee on myself a lot. I pee on myself a lot. There's the three p's. It's peace. I this is how I can remember it. It's p, peace, purpose, and presence.

And, honestly, like, let's be real. I pee a lot, like, every day. You know, for one of them, it's actually slowing down to drink water and take care of my body. That was something that was life changing for me.

I thought I was pretty good about drinking water before, but there's a difference. Like, I actually measure what I drink each day because I noticed that that just fuels me. And instead of operating from cortisol and caffeine, I can you know, I'm taking care of my body and staying hydrated like a grown woman should.

You're still talking to me right now.

I need to go get my water. It's not here, and I, like, yeah, I wanna go get it. So I don't know. The there's the, like, the peace part of it too is just, you know, giving myself affirmations. I I have two young kids, so I I I would like to say I have a morning routine, but I really don't. It's something that I would like to get better in, and I've just been I've accepted that. And just instead of fighting it, just you know, maybe it's just saying a thirty second prayer as I'm making my coffee.

But, really, giving myself affirmations. I know we talk about this a lot, but I have a journal full of affirmations. And I look myself in the mirror, and I tell myself, I am beautiful. I am created for this. I, you know, I have a lot more I am confident. I am radiant. I, am impactful. And for me, that allows that's the peace part of it is just, you know, operating from gratitude every morning and not waking up in a flight or fight mode because I would wake up. And before I even got out of bed, my chest just hurt so bad. Right. You know, I'd immediately start sweating, and it just was so for me, just that little tiny mindset shift of changing the way I talk to myself has really helped me as well.

And then presence where, you know, I'm actually there. And for me, that looks like saying no to things that don't align. I was a yes person before, but what I an exercise I did and I think would be really tangible for anybody that's listening is use chat GPT, type in some of the things you're passionate about, fool around with it, and come up with five core values. For me, I know those core values, and they carry over into business. And if something doesn't align with my core values, I say no. And that allows me to be more present and, you know, go out and throw a football at 2PM with my kids and not feel guilty about it.

So, yeah, those are probably the two main things that I would say that kinda leads into the purpose part of the peeing on myself is just making sure that I'm constantly, you know, aligned with, who I am and not what the world tells me I need to be. Yeah.

So, Ashley, you shared a lot of advantages of being a part of this community. You obviously are like the, you know, you're the wind beneath our wings. Like, you are the you are the glue that holds it all together.

Like, for the women that are listening that are like, man, I can really relate to this journey of, like, self discovery, yet I don't wanna sacrifice my business success while I do it. Like, how do you like, what would they do to find out more about GoBundance women and really just kinda be able to see, you know, what's possible here?

Oh, gosh. You know, I didn't know I needed a mastermind until I actually had one. I think you have said that as well, Kel. But just the the like hearted, like minded women that are here in this community are just so authentic, and I have never found anything quite like it.

And I've been a part of a couple other masterminds before, and they were great. They were just really business focused. But, you know, like you mentioned, we kinda take this holistic approach to abundance in all areas of life, and that's scaling without sacrificing your health. That's scaling without sacrificing your relationships. That's scaling without sacrificing who you truly are.

And so I would just encourage anyone that's listening, like, this is a community for you. And, you know, one thing that I had to make the decision was, you know, what's the opportunity cost for me if I don't make a decision to surround myself with with women who are aligned with me and who can pull, you know, pull me up as well. There's the one aspect of being able to pull yourself up, like Mandy says sometimes, but then you have this whole other community that's able to lift you up too, and that's kind of the beautiful part about this community.

So if you are interested in checking out Go Ban and Swimming, I am a personal testimony to just my story is still being written, but just over the last two years of the transformation that I've been able to go through, I feel fully confident standing here today Yeah. Just knowing the gifts and the magic of this community. So go to goabundancewomen.com. Follow us on social. I would love to have a connection call with you. I'm just so passionate and a firm believer. As you can tell, I'm very purposeful individual, so I would not be standing here today, sharing this if I didn't fully believe it with all of my heart and my soul.

Yeah. And there's been, holy moly, so many, like, wisdom bombs that you've dropped today. Like, I can't even keep track of them and so much that I relate, you know, being farther in that journey of motherhood and other things, like remembering, you know, all the fields of of, you know, just the chaos and and other things.

So just thank you. Thank you so much for just sharing so much about letting go and and, you know, not being afraid to write a new story. We're all, you know, divinely, you know, chosen to live an extraordinary

life, and yet so many people don't. So just thank you so much. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Thank you so much for allowing me to be here on this episode, but also entrusting me with this community of women. I am so grateful, and it has changed my life. So thank you so much for that gift.

Yeah. Oh, I there's a couple of things that really hit me that you said too. This willingness to ask for help. I think that resonates with so many women who are business owners and moms and doing all of the things. And the idea that vulnerability truly is the the greatest strength and and leaning into that is what could totally help you, level up in getting radically honest. Because the more truth you put to a problem, the easier it is to solve that problem.

So, Ashley, I'm so grateful for your friendship to to get to work alongside you. Thank you for joining us today. I want to remind anybody listening here, if this hit you, send it to a friend. Go to goabundancewomen.com if you're interested in learning more about this women's organization and, you know, like and subscribe because that is how we are gonna get the word out and impact more lives.

Absolutely. And thank you again, Ashley, for just being a light and also just such a such a, wise, young woman who literally I know, like, you just you you change people's lives when when they come into contact with you. So thank you so much. Thank you so much. Yep. Hope to see you guys all at go abundance women dot com. Have a great day.